Lessons Learned from Child Loss & Grief

This day, one year ago, life changed forever. With no prior warnings or symptoms, my daughter’s heart suddenly stopped beating. She would spend the last six days of her life on this earth in a coma before passing in our arms on the 14th. This week will always be a haunting reminder of what seemed like an eternal hell.

I’m still trying to even process this senseless loss. There are so many people young and old that have been impacted by this deep trauma. How could this bright light go out without warning? There are still so many unanswered questions and confusion regarding this senseless loss. Despite this, here are some things I’ve learned within the last 365 days:

💔 The world never stops or slows down, not even for a second. Even when time no longer even makes sense.

💔 The pain associated with grief does not get easier with time (at least it hasn’t yet).

💔 The adjustment to this new reality seems impossible somedays.

💔 Every moment of day to day impatience or aggravation from the past is amplified into a debilitating guilt that is sometimes impossible to shake.

💔 You can feel so lost when the biggest part of you (your loved one) is suddenly missing from this existence.

💔 You learn who’s really there for you in life once the initial shock passes and people stop checking in.

💔 This life here is so incredibly short.

Despite the painful, here are some positive things I’ve learned this year as well:

💜 Life is incredibly precious and should not be taken for granted even for a moment. Truly treat every day (and everyone) like it could be your last. Aim to lead with love at all times. You learn to be more present and live within the moment.

💜 Always be grateful for what you once had and have in this moment. There are always good things to focus on, even when things seem so dark and impossible.

💜 There is so much beauty within the human spirit, although sometimes drowned out by the day to day struggles of this existence.

💜 There is much more to life than this temporary human experience. I have never believed that more. Death is a transition to a higher place, full of incredible love and light.

💜 Those of us still alive (in human form) have much work to do (purposes and missions to continue filling) before we leave this place.

💜 You cannot hold onto expectations of what you thought life would be. Stop fighting against the difficult current and learn to float downstream (go with the flow). Some things are beyond our control.

💜 The pain of losing someone you love can motivate you to make necessary changes to improve yourself and the lives of those around you. You learn to appreciate things much more within each moment.

💜 I’ve learned to let go of the little things in life. I will not waste my energy sweating the small stuff. Life is too precious and truly a gift.

💜 We are all here to learn, to grow and evolve.

💜 Life is a constant battle of perspective. What you choose to focus on will absolutely become your reality. Both peace and happiness are created by you within the mind.

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